Day 1 Essay " Where Were We?"

So Far Away, Hilo, Hawaii


"What were you doing when you heard about 9-11?"

This is a question that one hears often in conjunction with other life affecting events such as the assasination of President John F. Kennedy, or the Apollo Moon Landing. In the three years since that terrible day I have been asked it more times than I can count. I think that this will for many, especially young people, become the seminal moment of their young lives. A devastating, and challenging moment that will profoundly effect how they and of course, the rest of us, think for the rest of our lives.

This question was frequently asked of my husband, John, and I during the weeks and months following the horrible events of 9-11. I think that because we were new arrivals to Hawaii made it even more interesting to some as they found it hard to understand how we could have managed such a difficult move under the challenging circumstances of the times.

And it was more challenging that most knew. We were struggling with grief and in the midst of a personal upheaval that outweighed what was going on, on the other side of the continent. John’s mother had died. We had sold her home, going through the 50 plus years of accumulation, trashing most of it. John learned many things that he never knew about his parents was doing a lot of soul searching. I had sold my beloved "Midway ‘round the Bend", a tiny cottage that I had purchased prior to my marriage, and had poured myself into its renovation. We were leaving friends some childhood friends, and were not going to the arms of friends or family there in the islands. We were packing up our few treasures, buying a container load of new things, saying goodbye to all of our memories and the the familiar, and moving 2750 miles from anywhere, to the Island of Hawaii.

John had lost his mother, I was leaving mine really for the first time and under difficult circumstances. It was a time of personal loss for me as well. I had never done anything like this before and was somewhat terrified but never let it show. This move was for my health, to get me away from the horrendous air pollution of Los Angeles that was slowly stealing my life away...We were also leaving personal failure, roadblocks, and a painfilled time in our lives... We hoped to "remake ourselves" and create a new life... so we hardened ourselved to the pain of leaving all we had ever known. I believe that this hardening prevented me from taking in the events of 9-11, and making them at all personal.

Due to the airlines upheaval and chaos, a trip to Angelfire, New Mexico that had been planned well in advance and our moving dates sort of built around, was changed and turned into a three plus week road trip through the Southwest. During these weeks, as we stayed in empty hotels, traveled empty roads, toured empty national parks, we began to understand the impact nationally of the disaster. Recession in full swing, shops and tourist areas were unpopulated, as so many people canceled their travel plans in fear. We knew too little about what had happened to be afraid. We have no TV. We had not been bombarded with the horrific images. We had no friends in the NYC area, no contacts there. No understanding of the true devestation and the implications of this for everyone in the nation.

The impact of 9-11 was to hit us upon arrival to Hilo on Oct 23, 2001. The promised jobs were no longer available. Shipping had come to a standstill, so the contractor that we had brought our home from wasn’t ready to move out. So we were homeless with three cars, and a 40 foot container full of stuff with no place to go. Fortunately we were able to have a roof over our heads for the duration of this time, in a rented time share, on the backside of the Big Islands desert, lovely Waikoloa. We were discouraged about our house and in grief I think. We spent our days roaming around again not processing that we were attacked and at war.

One year and many adventures, later, while listening to the "Rolling Requiem", the 24 hour continuous performance of Mozart's masterpiece, I realized the enormity of the event of 9-11. I later listened to a broadcast from Los Angeles of the Los Angeles Master Chorale, performing one of my favorite choral works, Lux Aeterna, by Dr. Morten Lauridson. The Lux Aeterna in the Catholic liturgy is a memorial service that is chanted periodically in rememberance of the Departed. This particular, and very moving memorial chorale was written for the 50th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, and as a message of hope to all that suffer catastrophe. I remember that I began to weep and realize that 9-11 and the struggle I had endured over the past year were intertwined. I had read, heard, discussed and thought of many things but had never wept for those people, and I needed to.

For they are us

The following 5 essays are on different aspects of the events of the World Trade Center Bombing of 2001, based on my experiences of the last three years, and centered around the five movements of the Lux Aeterna. This is not meant to be a history, or a summary of those horrible days, but rather a personal memorial, and conversation with the world about themes surrounding 9-11. The photos attached are ones that for the most part I have seen only in the last year, and are used to help the reader and the author focus on the theme, and as a testament to what took place, and the human story of that terrible day. The sixth piece is the homily given by Dr. Billy Graham at the National Memorial Service. I was at my job that day and watched it in the lunch room and will never forget Dr. Graham’s delivery of the message of divine truth and redemption that could come from this catastrophe. The prayers and choice of scriptures are my own. These writings are meant to be meditations on the profound impact of human events and how we as humans, Americans, and for some of us, people of faith can respond to tragedy. I have linked to Amazon.com for a musical sampling of each of the five movements. I am truly sorry that I cannot link the whole work, but I do not have permission to do so, and Amazon will allow this as long and I am not selling the recording on my own.

This is not a discussion blog. I will not be returning comments and will deleate any that I deem inappropriate for this site. These are my views, my thoughts and my feelings. As I said, this is not meant to be a fourm for discussion, but rather a place for me to record my thoughts and to try to write about ideas that I have had for a long time. It is a vehicle for creative expression and to honor the fallen and the grieving. You are welcome to comment, but keep it clean and civil.

I cannot give all the credits that are due. Some of these photos are public domain, courtesy of stockxcng.com. others are not. Some I pulled off of sites in my early days of websurfing, when I didnt know I shouldnt. One photo in particular I know could offend, another our government tried to suppress but I'm posting them anyway! Should this work be published I will pursue crediting vigorously. If a work needs credit please use the comment section at the foot of each section to let me know. I will try to update this often.

After this week of memorial, these works will be permanently stored at www.mywideblueseasLuxAeterna.blogspot.com. Please address comments and concerns to mywideblueseasluxaeterna@gmail.com

May the Lux Aeterna, the Eternal Light, shine upon you this Lord's Day...